


I need help

by drjekyllandmrhyde10



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 18:56:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8634148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drjekyllandmrhyde10/pseuds/drjekyllandmrhyde10
Summary: Trevor experienced Ian's manic episode. And he didn't know what to do.





	

Trevor stretched languidly upon feeling the warmth of the sun that shone directly on his feet. The blanket slipped off his side and the first thing he saw when he looked to his right was a pale back. Then his eyes lowered to the butt. Of course he smiled appreciatively on that.

It had been a couple of months since he and Ian decided to give a relationship a try. It was a struggle for the first few weeks since neither top wanted to bottom eagerly. Trevor wanted Ian. So much to be honest but they both needed to be clear on each other's boundaries when it came to sex. He didn't want Ian to jump to conclusions that just because he was a trans, he'd be the bottom automatically.

It was a good thing though that Ian was also open to this kind of conversation. He feared that maybe because the man had relationships in black and white, every kind would be of the same color. But alas, they managed to agree on how sex would be like for them.

And now, after a couple of tries and misses, Trevor could say that the boat was sailing smoothly.

He wet his lower lip after reminiscing what they did last night. It was another mind-shattering sex; not just because he was last night's bottom, but also because Ian was one hell of a top. Ian was definitely true to his words when he said he was SO good.

After work, Trevor messaged his boyfriend that he'd be visiting. He didn't receive any response though and it was something that he expected. Ian had the tendency to forget that a mobile phone could also be used as a means of communication and not just a flashlight or MP3 player. Trevor still went to the Gallagher's house anyway. He could always wait for Ian to come home.

When he arrived, the first thing that he saw was Liam, Ian's youngest brother, sitting on the stairs outside. He immediately smiled at the kid and rubbed his head. 

"Hey bud. What are you doing there?" 

Liam looked at him. "Ian's cleaning." The kid simply replied. Wondering why his boyfriend was already home, he nodded and entered.

"Hey!" Trevor heard Ian exclaimed. The man was bending over the washing machine at the kitchen. A quick look around the room told Trevor that Ian was doing more than just cleaning.

"What are you doing?" Trevor kissed the man's cheeks. It was quite dirty with all the grease and water mixed together. Ian's wife-beater were dirty too, obviously used to wipe the grease off the red head's fingers.

Ian looked at him again and Trevor noticed how unfocused those eyes were. There was some sort of light in there that Trevor felt like not associated with what was Ian's task as of the moment. 

"I'm cleaning." He heard the taller man replied. Ian briefly glanced at him before bending over at the machine again. "This fucker here had been making noise since I don't know when. Frank sort of got us a new washer just for us to find out that it belonged to the homeless shelter. They took it away again and gave this back." Ian wiped his hands again on his shirt and spoke again. "Frank is a real pain in the ass. We could have resolved this problem as easy as one two three..." He smiled at Trevor's direction. "You know? But no! He made us see himself as someone we needed," Ian laughed while shaking his head. "then the shit went down again even before we realized what he was planning." He scoffed. "Just like before."

Trevor was humming while Ian was talking. He listened to every word that the man said; however, he couldn't help but notice that Ian was scrubbing off a part of the machine multiple times while he was speaking. The concentration on Ian's face while cleaning the same spot for over a minute now bothered Trevor. He pulled himself off from leaning against the kitchen counter and touched Ian's shoulder.

"You've been on that spot for a while now Ian. I bet it's already clean." He said.

Ian, upon hearing those words, looked bewildered and shocked. Trevor saw how Ian held the rag tightly while staring at the machine. As if it was the first time he saw it and was clueless what he was doing with it. Apprehension came into the red head, so Ian smirked.

"Right. Sorry about that. Anyway, what are you doing here?" He stood up and washed the rag. He grabbed a sponge and scrubbed the dirty cloth vigorously. 

Trevor sighed, choosing not to call off Ian's way of cleaning again. "Nothing. I thought you're still at work." He smiled and grabbed the man's waist. He pulled Ian towards him and whispered. "I was planning to surprise you that's all." 

Ian smiled but still focused on the task at hand. "I'm gonna cook after this. What do you want to eat?"

Trevor playfully pecked Ian's lip to get his boyfriend's attention. "You. What do you say you ditch that and let's go upstairs? You know, while other people are still not here..." His voice turned sultry. He wanted to get Ian on the mood. Because he was disturbed at what he was seeing right now.

To his surprise though, Ian deflated. It was as if the spark in his eyes and the energy he was giving off earlier vanished in a split second. The man's Adam's apple bobbed before turning to him. Trevor noticed again the red head's eyes. It was slightly unfocused. 

Ian was looking everywhere except him.

"Ugh...I-I can't Trevor. I-I need to finish this. And I have to cook. I have to cook Trev." He looked around the kitchen then, in Trevor's utmost surprise, dropped the cloth he was holding and run outside. 

"Liam!" He heard Ian shouted before going out the door.

Trevor run after his boyfriend. "Ian! Liam was just---" He stopped upon seeing Liam between Ian's arms, clutched tightly. 

"I-I'm sorry Liam! I'm so sorry!" Ian was crying. Openly crying, with tears streaming down his red face. His fingers were shaking as he run his hands on the kid's head. "I am so sorry!" 

"Ian...babe..." Trevor knelt down, gripping Ian's hand as he tried to pull him up. Liam was nonchalant on what was going on. As soon as Ian let go of his younger brother, Trevor made the kid go back to his room.

He turned around just in time to see Ian wiping his face, chest heaving. "What was that?" He incredulously asked. There was really no point asking the other man as Ian went inside and went back to cleaning the kitchen again. His questions left unanswered.

Trevor's reminiscing yesterday's event where cut off when he heard Ian groaned beside him. He softly tugged the blanket towards them and covered them both. "Hey sleepyhead. How are you?" He whispered.

No response.

"Ian?" Trevor tried again.

No response.

He thought that the man was sleeping again so he let it go. After putting some clothes on, he went down. He'd talk to his boyfriend later. When they had enough food in their body. And some caffeine probably.

After Ian's extreme reaction towards Liam yesterday, the man acted as if nothing happened. He cleaned the whole kitchen, talking animatedly to Trevor, and even cooked them dinner.

However, Ian stated that he suddenly got tired even before they eat the food he made. The man told him to stay and feed Liam while waiting for the rest of the Gallaghers. Trevor nodded while rubbing the man's back, telling him to sleep his tiredness off while promising that he'd stay and look after Liam.

That was yesterday. Ian had not come out of his room since then.

"Good morning buddy!" Trevor kissed the top of Liam's head. The Gallaghers were amazingly self-sufficient. He could see that the kid managed to prepare himself a breakfast and was already on the way to school. "Want me to bring you to school?" Trevor said.

"Nah. I can go there on my own. Where is Ian?" Liam asked, struggling with the school's jacket. Trevor helped him. "He's still sleeping. Are you sure you don't want me to take you? Is Frank gonna take you to school?" He needed to ask. In case the rest of the Gallaghers went gung-ho again if something happened to their youngest sibling.

Liam nodded before going out of the house. Trevor made sure that Frank was indeed outside before coming back inside. He also made sure that Frank indeed would be bringing his own son to school and not somewhere he could use the kid in conning other people.

******************************

Fiona was walking steadfastly. She received a call a couple of minutes ago from her brother's boyfriend Trevor about Ian. She could have dismissed the call if not for the labor breathing of the man on the other line.

"F-Fiona...I-I don't know what to d-do. I-Ian was cleaning again a-and---"

"Slow down Trevor. What's wrong with Ian cleaning the house?" She asked.

Trevor breathe deeply. "I was here since yesterday. I saw him cleaning the kitchen yesterday." Fiona was about to say something again before the man continued on. "He was cleaning the same spot again today."

And that made Fiona drop what she was doing at the Patsy's and walked home. She made sure to grab Lip though on the way out.

They reached the house with Trevor sitting on the staircase. Fiona saw how the man's legs didn't stop shaking while the hands were clutched together. "Hey..." Fiona softly smiled at the man.

"Fiona! I-I l-left him inside---I locked the back door in case he run away---" Trevor reported, eyes shiny with unshed tears.

"What do you mean in case he run away? Did he yesterday?" Lip asked while opening the door. They all went inside.

Upon seeing their brother, Fiona and Lip understood Trevor's agitation.

The man was stripped to his pants. He was holding the vacuum cleaner and standing on the kitchen table while vacuuming the ceiling. He didn't hear them when they came in due to the machine's noise but he was talking.

To himself, they didn't know.

Fiona slowly approached Ian. And Trevor could see how wary the two Gallagher's became from the moment they saw their brother. The woman extended her hand and reached for Ian's arms. "Ian...sweetface?" He saw Ian got startled but he looked down. His face light up. "Hey..." Fiona whispered. "Come down there will you?"

Ian looked around first before nodding. Lip grabbed the vacuum machine while Fiona helped Ian go down. The two worked together to make Ian drop everything he was doing until the man agreed to go upstairs with his older brother.

Trevor was on the side, transfixed to what he was seeing. Fiona saw him like that and smiled. Trevor saw how sad and tired that smile was.

"Your first time?" Trevor heard her asked. Fiona grabbed the gallon of orange juice inside their fridge. She poured two glasses then asked Trevor to sit with her on the porch.

Silence passed between them; neither wanted to speak on what they saw earlier. A moment passed before Lip joined them, a joint on his lips. "You not aware of this?" Trevor heard the man asked too.

Which made him drop the pretenses and jumped the gun. "What the hell happened?" He was beyond exhausted since yesterday. Trevor thought he was only imagining what he was seeing in Ian but when the man suddenly went down at the kitchen and started throwing the breakfast he just made, murmuring that he should be the one doing it for the family, Trevor knew he needed to make a call. 

The fear he felt intensified while waiting for Fiona. Ian, after cleaning the kitchen and throwing all the uneaten breakfast, run upstairs and came barreling down again, holding a vacuum cleaner. He motioned towards the ceiling using the vacuum's tube and said, "Did you see how dirty the ceiling is? It was white as far as I remember. I don't know why it's gray now."

And that's when Trevor nervously fished for his phone and dialed Fiona's number.

"Ian's bipolar. The thing that you saw yesterday and today was part of it." Fiona rubbed her neck. "You think he needs to up his meds?" She turned to Lip. 

"Maybe. You...ah...want to help him see the doctor?"

The two eldest Gallaghers planned while Trevor sat there, totally unfocused. He was numb from the moment Fiona said Ian's bipolar.

He was NOT stupid not to know about bipolar. 

He was stupid on what to do when your boyfriend has one and going manic as of the moment.

Trevor felt a warm hand on his arm. It was Fiona.

"Hey...you okay? He'd be fine. Just let him be for the meantime. We'd go to his doctor later to up his dosage."

Lip smirked at him. "Don't worry. Anyone who had been with Ian survived. Even Mickey learned how to take care of my little brother back then. And we're all stupid on how to do it before." Fiona and Lip nodded together, looking at him. 

And only one thing registered to Trevor's mind. Mickey.

Whoever Mickey was knew how to handle Ian. 

And he needed to know and meet this Mickey.

He needed to do something. Because he couldn't, for the life of him, see Ian go down the manic road without him doing something.

He's in love with Ian and whether the red head take it or not, he won't back down from this. For Trevor, Ian was his endgame. And he'd do anything within his power to help his boyfriend.

Even if meeting this Mickey that he never heard of.

"Who is Mickey?" Trevor asked the two Gallaghers.

******************************

Trevor waited for the guard on duty to let him pass the iron gates. He was carrying a take-away lunch that he bought on the way to jail. 

He resigned to himself upon knowing where he could meet this Mickey. Mickey was a man that learned how to be with Ian during his manic days. And according to Fiona and Lip, Mickey managed it real well. Regardless if Ian kidnapped his son and run away with his car, Mickey stayed.

And Trevor wanted to be that guy. If anyone could handle Ian, that should be him. 

So that's why he was here, waiting for the jail guard to bring out the man that he'd be asking for help.

The first thing that Trevor saw was the way the man limped towards the window. The man was shorter, almost his height level, with black hair and the gait of the Southside thug Trevor became familiar with since he and Ian became together. Mickey raised an eyebrow upon seeing him. 

"Who the fuck are you?!" Mickey snarled.

Trevor exhaled. Yep, he found the right guy.

******************************

Ian stirred when he felt the bed dipped on his left side. He saw Trevor looking at him with concerned eyes and Ian knew something bad happened.

"Was it bad?" Ian whispered. His voice was hoarse from lack of use since his manic started. Fiona forced him to go to the doctor yesterday, which led him to take new set of medicines. He was left groggy and sleepy every time while his body was adjusting to the dosage.

Trevor smiled and shook his head. He spread his arms for Ian to lean on and hummed while brushing the man's red hair.

"Fiona washed me yesterday." Ian whispered. The need to say something, anything, to Trevor was overwhelming. He could tell that the past few days, which he couldn't remember, were traumatic for his boyfriend and he needed to ease away whatever pain he was seeing in the shorter man's eyes. 

Ian had this want to make it right for Trevor. A deep longing to do something good for a change whenever his manic was coming back. 

Ian didn't know where this feeling was coming from.

"Do you want to eat?" Trevor answered back, hands still brushing his hair. Ian almost purred at the sensation.

"Yes please."

******************************

"So, he was manic huh?" Mickey scratched his chest, the orange jumpsuit zipped up almost to his neck. Trevor nodded. "How long now?" Mickey added.

"Three days."

"How did you know he was manic?"

"Fiona and Lip told me." Trevor responded. Then he proceeded in telling what happened three days ago. Remembering the events when he didn't know what was going on then recounting it again with him knowing, made every angle different. 

How Trevor didn't pay attention on why Ian's eyes couldn't focus on him while they were talking. How Ian suddenly cried when he thought Liam was missing, how he suddenly attacked the kitchen with cleaning supplies as if his life depended on it.

How Ian didn't acknowledge Trevor's presence since he came to that house three days ago.

Mickey snorted. "Join the club." He whispered. "What do you want now?"

"I want you to help me understand Ian. I want to help him and make him feel better."

Mickey scratched his chest again, looking everywhere except at the man in front of him.

******************************

Trevor smiled to himself. Ian was doing well. For the past 30 minutes. He was eating his food, smiling at him and nodding his head when asked questions answerable by Yes or No (nod if Yes, shake if No). 

Whatever reaction he could extract from Ian was enough for him. As long as he won't be able to see that dead set eyes he'd been seeing for the past three days.

Ian finished the clam soup. "Do you want to sleep again?" Trevor asked.

"No. I want to go out." Ian deadpanned.

Trevor's interest peaked. "Where are you going?" He saw the red head pulling a bag under the stairs, opening it hastily and filling it with beer cans. 

"Want to come with me?" Ian momentarily looked at him. 

After a few seconds of Trevor staring at Ian, he nodded.

******************************

"To be honest, I have no idea who you were until yesterday." Trevor mentioned to Mickey. The latter smirked. "I...I was just trying to, you know, be useful. I was like standing there, in the kitchen, looking at Fiona and Phillip and Ian and...I don't know---"

"You felt useless? Why? Because they knew what to do and you don't?" Trevor heard the sarcasm in the prisoner's voice. 

And he felt in that moment that Mickey hit the nail on the head.

"Yes..." He whispered.

Mickey exhaled and rubbed his FUCK U UP knuckle tats. He was nodding to himself. Like he was agreeing to words only he could hear.

And yet, Trevor felt that he could hear them too.

"Yeah...me too."

******************************

Trevor saw the smile on Ian's lips upon seeing the dug out, much to his confusion. 

But then again, he agreed to do this. He wanted Ian to be happy. Maybe in that way, Ian would forget the current state of his mind and emotions.

So whatever Ian wanted to do today, he'd join him. He'd be with him until Ian was no longer like...this.

Manic.

"It's been a while since I've been here. Kind of hard not to remember every thing." Ian whispered. Trevor caught every words. On a lighter note, Ian's eyes shone with glee and Trevor was glad.

On the other side of the coin, Trevor knew the reason for that happiness.

******************************

"What are you to Ian, if you don't mind me asking?" 

Mickey, who was on the verge of going back to his cell, or probably crawl off his skin, after telling this man he didn't even know how he managed to help the manic Ian before, raised his head in shock.

"You came here, asking me about these things and you don't even know who I am?" Mickey asked incredulously.

Trevor shrugged, not knowing what to say. "Are you...his friend or buddy?" 

Mickey smirked and chuckled quietly. "Friend you say..." He looked at the man in front of him square in the eyes. "Yeah...probably I am."

******************************

"What are you doing Ian?" Trevor felt Ian's lips on his neck. He tried to check if anyone could see them from where they're standing but all he could see was the large space for baseball, the bleachers and them.

"I want you." He heard Ian whispered while placing a chaste kiss on his neck. The man was trying to remove his jacket while trying to walk ahead and push him towards the bleachers.

Trevor shivered. As much as he wanted to hear those words coming from Ian, there was something on where they were right now that didn't sit well on him.

It was like Ian was pertaining to a totally different person.

Trevor was not stupid.

******************************

"Aye, there's nothing you can do." Mickey said again. He was rocking his legs while trying to appear nonchalant in front of this...this Trevor.

"Just wait for him to adjust on his meds, feed 'im as much as you can, give 'im something to drink, talk to 'im..." Mickey sighed and rubbed his left eyebrow. "Be with him every freaking day." Trevor stared at the pair of blue eyes filled with emotions he couldn't read.

"Let him see you once he's okay. Let him know you were there." Trevor looked down when he realized what those emotions meant. 

Those eyes were the same ones he had every time he looked at Ian. Those were the expressions he wore every time he was with the red head.

He knew those emotions to well.

It was love.

******************************

"Ian...we cannot do it here..." Trevor tried to push away the wandering hands roaming his body. Those sinful hands could make him lose every inch of control he had and the one time he needed it should be now. He couldn't stomach the notion of having sex with Ian somewhere the man already did with his ex.

With Mickey.

"Oh c'mon Mick...don't be like that...I love you. Just...just this once again. I miss you..." Trevor froze upon hearing the name. His hands started to tremble as he slowly but with more force pushed Ian away from him.

It was one thing for Trevor to find out about Mickey through Ian's siblings. A second when it was Mickey who confirmed what he had been thinking since the convict talked about Ian and how they were back then.

But to hear the man's name escaped Ian's lips while doing the same thing that they had done before, Trevor snapped.

******************************

Mickey stood up when the bell rang. He and Trevor both looked at the jail guard when a handcuff was placed around Mickey's wrist.

Trevor stared at Mickey's back. He was expecting that their conversation was over when the iron gate separating the visiting room and the jail room opened.

But Mickey turned around again and smirked.

"Don't leave him, you hear me? Be with him. Be with Ian because he needed you. Of all people he could be with, he chose you." Mickey rubbed at his nose, sniffing and Trevor swore he saw the man's eyes glistened. "Just...if you love him, do whatever it takes to be with him."

Call him a masochist but Trevor needed to know. Before his chance run out.

"Do...do you still think Ian loves you? Until now?"

Trevor heard Mickey snorted. "Nah." He saw the man rubbed his upper lip and looked away. "He never did."

And Trevor saw the retrieving figure until the gate closed.

******************************

Trevor managed to make Ian stop with his ministrations. He was able to convince the man that they should go home and fool around in their bedroom. With eager eyes and smiling face, Ian nodded.

They went home with Ian holding his hand tightly. He had this nagging feeling that they way Ian held his hand was something that the man unconsciously wanted to do. To grasp a hand and never let go.

If only those hands that Ian wanted to grasp was his.

Trevor didn't know what to do after the talk he had with Mickey. He asked for the man's help because he wanted to be with Ian and help him through whatever was happening to him. He wanted to be the capable man that Ian would run to for help. The one Ian would look for when he was going manic. The man that could give the support, trust, safety to Ian.

He wanted Ian to irrevocably and undyingly fall in love with him too.

With a resigned sigh, Trevor knew that what he wished for could come as impossible.

And yet, he didn't want to let go. As long as those hands seek his, Trevor could always pretend that someday, maybe Ian would learn to love him.

As Ian irrevocably and hopelessly loves Mickey.

**Author's Note:**

> I want to write a sad story about these three. Sorry...


End file.
